I write lol and Im not even laughing

That is the name of this random group I joined on assbook the other day. Im one of those people who join groups that achieve absolutely nothing. But that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is that my use of emoticons is out of control and that I have way too much time on hands. The lol, lmao and smiley faces (that used to annoy the living daylights out of me in my past life) can now be found peppered all over my sms' and e-mails. This is a disease surely, but I am not sure if I am ready to be cured just yet...Which could only mean that I fall into the category of people who assume that it is important to inform others (the reader) when to laugh by inserting an emoticon... I mean since when is it safe to leave to decide for themseves when to laugh or not? They'll thank me one day for reminding them that I am laughing out loud while typing to them (at least that is what i would like to believe.Sometimes it is necessary to use then, especially to move the conversation along. Me: blah blah blah Friend: blah blah blah Me: OMG u so funny Friend: lmao Me: ha ha hahehehe :) you see the conversation lost its mojo and now we just using the emoticons and the lols to keep the conversation moving while we think up something else to say or find a reason to log off.

Unwanted cds make great doorstops

my cd collection is dwindling by the minute. From a vast collection of mostly hip hop music I bought over the years, I have only a few cds left. Mainly because I still expect people to bring back the cds they "borrowed" from me. If I had to chuck out all the "free" cds I got in Hype and SL magazine and all those dvd-rs with so much underground hip-hop on them that they make my head hurt, I am left with a few original local hip-hop cds. There really wouldn't be anything else because that is the only kind of music I am prepared to buy. Partly because it's cheap and I find some gems but mostly because the cd's get shoved in my face and I have no choice but to buy. The latter case is mostly with people I know or their friends who put one on guilt trips for "always whining that that we make crap music and when we bring good music out, you refuse to buy". At this time, I am already making a mental note to keep my big mouth shut.The price we pay for friendship, around R70/80 bucks at street level. Anyway, so I went thru my "collection" and found a cd that I bought a while back but never got to listen to it because I didnt understand the language or because it sucked. I decided to give it a chance today and it stil sounds awful. I would give it away as a present but the hippies don't listen to anything but new age whoosh-shosh and I would feel bad giving it to any other person because I suspect they already have it. So I found another use for it (and others like it) I use them as doorstops or sell them. And they work wonders.

one last cup of coffee before I give it up completely..

Procrastinating would be the right word. But my spelling is not what it used to be so I tend to steer away from big words.Anyway, I have a problem with putting things off to the last minute. It was all well and good at varsity to finish off assignments the night before a due date but now that I am working for THE MAN, that doesn't cut it anymore. Well that and the fact that our power supply is not what it used to be. (read load shedding). Which reminded me that I hadn't had my coffeee yet. So I thought I'd give my bad habbit one last go before I give it up completely. There I was flicking thru my diary, "hmmm 5 stories by the 2nd of March, HA! that's more than enough time, especially since I have whole week and a few days to burn". So I chilled, made another cup of coffee, paced up and down the office for no reason other than to irritate those who actually had work to do and checked my diary again only to realise that I only had 3 days to get everything done, including interviews, research, pics and a trip to PTA at the weekend.... Did I mention that I am leaving in two days and have yet to book a flight or arrange a way out of the bundus to get to the airport. I know what you are thinking, I am thinking it too. Time for another cup of coffee. Anyway, the only reason I am able to do this now is that I was able to push some of my work but I still haven't booked my flight? and the fact that I live 2 hours from the airport? and I don't even own a bicycle let alone a car?...

The relunctant hiker in search of cellphone reception

I have learnt to live with the fact that I can only get cellphone reception at certain points in the bundus. I have also learnt (to my horror) the fact that these points are never in the house next to the bar, they are always somewhere remote and very far to walk. Which explains why I have become a reluctant hiking enthusiast because I can only get reception at the top the hill. The view is unbelievable up there but I am always too lazy to go up. So, the one day I'm chilling by the dam when my cellphone beeps because I just got an sms. The sms was 2 weeks old but it was an sms nonetheless. I was so happy as that meant I could just go there instead up that hill (like Jack and Jill). But it seems that the reception by the dam is not strong enough for me to make calls or reply my two week old sms'. The other day I walked into the kitchen and my cellphone beeped again, I know what you're probably thinking by now, "why the hell do I carry my cellphone with me in a place with no cellphone reception anyway?". I don't know either. Recently, my cellphone has started to ring in my bedroom. But it only has reception when it's on the dresser and the damn thing(dresser) is too heavy for me to move. So it seems it's still the long walk up the hill for me. It sucks, I know, but it is doing wonders for my thighs. I mean even my shopping habbits have changed to accomodate my reluctant hiking status. Over the holiday I was at GAME with the family, and instead of hauting the music section, I was listening attentively to guy explaining to me which hiking tents, ropes, shoes (u name it) work better in the bundus..

since when is it cool to smell like disinfectant anyway?

So I walk into the office loo the other day and notice that the new year has brought fresh changes to our unisex toilets. I think someone made a new year's resolution to try and keep the air in there ultra germ-free ( whatever that means) because instead of regular air freshner smelling of lavender and what-not, we not have Dettol neutra-air treatment. The name doesnt roll off the tongue but I'm sure germs get a whiff of that stuff and simply disintergrate into whatever it is that they are meant to become. I mean really? but then again it's only air freshner right, we could always use a lil bit of extra CFCs in the air (it doesn't say CFC free on the can). I am thinking of carrying a can in my bag so i can spray it in the air whenever I drive past that sewerage plant in Pretoria on my way out of town. Anyway having had a whiff of that neutra-air ( smells kinda nice actually), I see an advert on TV advertising Dettol deodorant. I'm not much of a TV snob so this advert might be a bit old. I mean if I fall down a hill and get a tiny bruise, i'd wash that with some Dettol. Hell, I have been known to put some of that light green stuff in my bath water... but deododrant? What's next Dettol body cream? But now I am thinking, deodrant? since when is it cool to smell like disinfectant anyway?

you're not smiling, let's take another one...

Ok, I admit it, I am obssessed with taking pictures. If it's there, I will snap it. Notice my deliberate use of the word "it's" instead of "he/she", well that's because I hate taking pictures of people because the minute u shove a lense in their face, they smile. Eventually, when I do manage to get a few pictures of non-smiling-people they insist on checking them out and then look at the money-shot (that would probably have won me a Pulitzer Price) and go "oh, no that one is not nice, I'm not smiling, take another one". At this point I am ready to take another one (shot of that vodka.) It is much much better for me to take pictures of things that are not allowed to pose. You know: Doors, Trees, The N1 traffic etc. Obviously this non-smiling thing has given me a complex because I don't smile in pictures taken of me. Now this is a problem for people as it means that i am not happy. So I always get a blank stare and a "you're not smiling, let's take another one". As you can imagine, I am already hoping that they are reffering to the bottle of vodka on the table and not another happy-snappy picture. So my one friend, Miss Smarty-pants came up with a solution that worked for a while. Rather have them take pictures of you from the back. This seemed to be working for her for a while until the point where she was not in control of who took pictures (curses the camera phone). So now, she like me, has caved in and we are now party of the happy-snappy brigade just smiling form ear to ear as soon as someone starts to snap because at least then "picture time" is out of the way and we can get down to that bottle of red that is being neglected on the table.

As it turns out...

I wasn't being eaten alive by creepy-crawlies. I had been hugging way too many of those kids in the bundus, and one of them left me with a Christmas present : Chicken Pox. A grown ass woman with chicken pox, what a way to start the silly season.