Oprah moment

Neotionery definition " the moment where you put down that third bag of pretzels and roll off the couch only to realise that you gained weight. Then going on to act suprised and say things like "how did I let this happen to me again" on the cover of your very own magazine" Please bear in mind that the Big O did not actually roll off the couch after a few too many pretzels but that would probably be something I did. So now like the Big O, I am trying to make it right with a bit of exercise and eating right (half a packet of Pretzels instead of 6). The exercise bit is not going too well coz I was lifting weights the other day and I now have a pain in my neck and somewhere on my chest. It hurts when I breathe. I was moaning about it to a colleague of mine and he says its coz im sooo unfit and he proceeded to hand me a running programme. No mercy I tell you (last time I invite him to my pitty party). There is nothing wrong with the programme, it is actually easy to follow but the only snag is that there are bloody pofadders rolling up and down the hills and I AM NOT ABOUT TO GO RUNNING AROUND IN SKIMPY SHORTS JUST SO I CAN GET MY LEGS BITTEN OFF AND LATER AMPUTATED AFTER I HAVE A RUN-IN WITH A POISONOUS POFADDER. Nah ah, so I have to work smart. Like running around the dining room table and then proceeding to do sit-ups (ouch) and what not, in front of the TV. The one thing I can learn from the Big O though, is that you don't wana spend ur udult life obssesing about your weight, it makes you a bore. The fact that you have enough money to talk about it on your tv show, CNN, ur own magazine and whatever else is available ...makes you more of a bore. The truth is we all know the secret to weight loss. Eating less and Exercise. There simple. The amount of energy we use to bitch and moan about our weight could actually be used to do a few more laps around the dining room table or even more lunges while watching an episode of Aljazeera. I know I don't want to wake up one day like the Big O did and say things like "I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrased. I can't believe that after all these years, I'm still talking about my weight." Not unless I have my own talk show anyway.