The relunctant hiker in search of cellphone reception

I have learnt to live with the fact that I can only get cellphone reception at certain points in the bundus. I have also learnt (to my horror) the fact that these points are never in the house next to the bar, they are always somewhere remote and very far to walk. Which explains why I have become a reluctant hiking enthusiast because I can only get reception at the top the hill. The view is unbelievable up there but I am always too lazy to go up. So, the one day I'm chilling by the dam when my cellphone beeps because I just got an sms. The sms was 2 weeks old but it was an sms nonetheless. I was so happy as that meant I could just go there instead up that hill (like Jack and Jill). But it seems that the reception by the dam is not strong enough for me to make calls or reply my two week old sms'. The other day I walked into the kitchen and my cellphone beeped again, I know what you're probably thinking by now, "why the hell do I carry my cellphone with me in a place with no cellphone reception anyway?". I don't know either. Recently, my cellphone has started to ring in my bedroom. But it only has reception when it's on the dresser and the damn thing(dresser) is too heavy for me to move. So it seems it's still the long walk up the hill for me. It sucks, I know, but it is doing wonders for my thighs. I mean even my shopping habbits have changed to accomodate my reluctant hiking status. Over the holiday I was at GAME with the family, and instead of hauting the music section, I was listening attentively to guy explaining to me which hiking tents, ropes, shoes (u name it) work better in the bundus..

since when is it cool to smell like disinfectant anyway?

So I walk into the office loo the other day and notice that the new year has brought fresh changes to our unisex toilets. I think someone made a new year's resolution to try and keep the air in there ultra germ-free ( whatever that means) because instead of regular air freshner smelling of lavender and what-not, we not have Dettol neutra-air treatment. The name doesnt roll off the tongue but I'm sure germs get a whiff of that stuff and simply disintergrate into whatever it is that they are meant to become. I mean really? but then again it's only air freshner right, we could always use a lil bit of extra CFCs in the air (it doesn't say CFC free on the can). I am thinking of carrying a can in my bag so i can spray it in the air whenever I drive past that sewerage plant in Pretoria on my way out of town. Anyway having had a whiff of that neutra-air ( smells kinda nice actually), I see an advert on TV advertising Dettol deodorant. I'm not much of a TV snob so this advert might be a bit old. I mean if I fall down a hill and get a tiny bruise, i'd wash that with some Dettol. Hell, I have been known to put some of that light green stuff in my bath water... but deododrant? What's next Dettol body cream? But now I am thinking, deodrant? since when is it cool to smell like disinfectant anyway?

you're not smiling, let's take another one...

Ok, I admit it, I am obssessed with taking pictures. If it's there, I will snap it. Notice my deliberate use of the word "it's" instead of "he/she", well that's because I hate taking pictures of people because the minute u shove a lense in their face, they smile. Eventually, when I do manage to get a few pictures of non-smiling-people they insist on checking them out and then look at the money-shot (that would probably have won me a Pulitzer Price) and go "oh, no that one is not nice, I'm not smiling, take another one". At this point I am ready to take another one (shot of that vodka.) It is much much better for me to take pictures of things that are not allowed to pose. You know: Doors, Trees, The N1 traffic etc. Obviously this non-smiling thing has given me a complex because I don't smile in pictures taken of me. Now this is a problem for people as it means that i am not happy. So I always get a blank stare and a "you're not smiling, let's take another one". As you can imagine, I am already hoping that they are reffering to the bottle of vodka on the table and not another happy-snappy picture. So my one friend, Miss Smarty-pants came up with a solution that worked for a while. Rather have them take pictures of you from the back. This seemed to be working for her for a while until the point where she was not in control of who took pictures (curses the camera phone). So now, she like me, has caved in and we are now party of the happy-snappy brigade just smiling form ear to ear as soon as someone starts to snap because at least then "picture time" is out of the way and we can get down to that bottle of red that is being neglected on the table.

As it turns out...

I wasn't being eaten alive by creepy-crawlies. I had been hugging way too many of those kids in the bundus, and one of them left me with a Christmas present : Chicken Pox. A grown ass woman with chicken pox, what a way to start the silly season.